"if you don't start somewhere, you're gonna go nowhere."
-bob marley
a YEAR IN REVEIW
There are so many words I could use to describe my experiences as a freshman ballet major; my year has been exciting, terrifying, exhausting, motivating, and all in all, one of the best of my life so far. To begin with, I see the world so differently now, at the end of my first year, than I could have imagined ten months ago at the start of my collegiate experience. Even only within the context of the dance world, I feel as though I have a better understanding of the level of talent that comprises my chosen career field. Especially coming from a small ballet school where I was a big fish in a little pond, it is clearer to me than ever before how far I still need to go in order to realize my dream of dancing professionally. Less pessimistically however, this broader perspective also allows me to better see how far I have come and how lucky I am to be doing what I love every day. Out of the hundreds of people who audition for the dance program at CCM, I was one of the handful accepted. And on a college campus of many thousands, I am one of only sixty or so dancers. For this privilege, I am both honored and grateful.
To be more specific about my experience this year, I performed in five shows: at American Voices in “Afternoon of a Poet,” at the Halloween Concert in “Peter and the Wolf,” at the fall concert in “Reflections of Autumn,” in Choreographer’s Showcase, and finally at the spring concert in “Les Noces.” I was also an understudy for “Raymonda,” a classical ballet piece with lots of partnering. Perhaps unsurprisingly, one of the biggest challenges I faced this year came at the beginning of the Fall Semester, just as I was learning to adjust to my new life. For “Afternoon of a Poet,” I danced in constant contact with another freshman ballet student, and so was fairly limited in what I could actually do during the dance. Because of this frustration, my partner and I butted heads over choreography, timing, and spacing. Previously, I was always able to return home to my family and gain comfort and support after similar machinations. Since, however, my family lives a nine-hour drive away from the University, I found myself without a support system and I became lonely and discouraged. By overcoming this depression, I feel like I am better able to work with other people, and to be empathetic to those around me. It’s an important realization that everyone around you has thought processes and emotions completely separate from your own, and yet no less complex. My greatest challenge, loneliness, was ultimately overcome by the biggest take-away I have from my first year, my friends. Since I’ve always had some trouble making and maintaining meaningful friendships outside my immediate family, I was apprehensive that I would be all alone at school. I am so relieved to say that I found friends that I can confide in and who I know will stick by me. They help form my greatest hope for the future, far more than any temporary gain in ballet skill.
Looking ahead to my future at the University of Cincinnati, I hope that I will continue to develop and strengthen the friendships that have been my saving grace. I know that I have changed, and will continue to change, as a friend myself, and I hope that I can utilize my furthered understanding of empathy and compassionate understanding to positively influence those around me. Switching gears, if I could give my future old, jaded self a single piece of advice, it would be to hang on to the excitement that the newness of this first year brought. I don’t want to lose the spark of joy that carried me into my first day on campus because I believe it’s what makes life worth living. And though my goal – to become a professional dancer – has not changed from the beginning of this year, my knowledge of myself and those around me has undeniably shifted. As I go into this next year, my sophomore year at UC, I want to become a stronger dancer (hopefully by perfecting my hops en pointe!) and a stronger friend.
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left: my final exam in level 1 ballet
below: makeup tests from associated class |