Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors"
A year in REVIEW: part II
PC: Zeek Creative (Adam Zeek), Will Brenner Photography
I felt really good going into my sophomore year in CCM. I was coming off from a great summer training experience at the Washington Ballet – in probably the best shape of my life – I finally had a kitchen to cook in, and to top it all off, It was a mainstage performance year for the dance Department. That is to say, it was the year we take on a full-length, classical/romantic ballet. Basically, I was pumped to be in Swan Lake come second Semester. Of course, however, the best laid plans often go awry, and looking back I think that I will remember this school year as a really difficult time moving forward.
Not to say that absolutely everything blew up in my face – just a lot of it stemming from a serious injury I received during an audition in January. To sum up a frighteningly long list of medical jargon, I dislocated my knee, almost completely tearing the Medial Patellofemoral Ligament (MPFL), causing a deep and persistent bone bruise on my femur, and slightly injuring the Medial Collateral Ligament (MCL). It Sucked. A lot. Not only because it hurt a ton when I had to drive the 4 hours back to Cincinnati afterwards, but also because I was on crutches for a month and couldn’t start dancing until almost 2 months later. Add in insurance troubles and the total decimation of my audition season… you can see why I was in a bad place. Never let it be said, however, that I didn’t work my butt off in order to recover enough for Swan Lake. I went to therapy 3 times a week and continued to cross train as soon I was able to and was subsequently able to perform. It’s still hard though, as even now I am not fully recovered. I must continue to face down the brick wall between me and my goal that is my injury. I think that following this incident, I am beginning to fully comprehend just how difficult the path I walk is. With the joy that comes from living a fulfilling life, there is also despair that runs so much deeper when that ideal crumbles.
In other news, I am happy to report that I’ve found a great place to fulfill my 30 required Cincinnatus service hours. Every Thursday during the school year, I help to teach a recreational ballet class at a church in Northside. As opposed to last year when I just cobbled together whatever miscellaneous hours I could get my hands on, this sort of service plays directly to my strengths, or at least allows me to work at something most people wouldn’t be able to. It’s also grown my confidence as a teacher. While it still terrifies me if I’m asked to be a substitute dance teacher back at my home studio in Maryland, I’m not protesting that I can’t because I’m a sweaty mess. Even though it’s tough to feel the heavy weight of people’s expectations when I teach, I have also been able to acknowledge that that sort of responsibility is part of why the work is so rewarding in the first place: it allows you to help those who are depending on you. I can’t wait to continue this volunteer work next year as well.
Looking toward the coming year then, I my hope is that I will be able to move past the difficulties of this past year and be able to move past my fear of re-injury. What I believe is an important part of dance, after all, is fearlessness. I do not want to be constrained any further either mentally or physically by the roadblock that I have struggled to overcome. To give myself one piece of advice however – I would have to say “work even harder in the future,” specifically because I recognize now that it is imperative that I continue to move forward as a motivated and optimistic individual if I want to succeed.
Not to say that absolutely everything blew up in my face – just a lot of it stemming from a serious injury I received during an audition in January. To sum up a frighteningly long list of medical jargon, I dislocated my knee, almost completely tearing the Medial Patellofemoral Ligament (MPFL), causing a deep and persistent bone bruise on my femur, and slightly injuring the Medial Collateral Ligament (MCL). It Sucked. A lot. Not only because it hurt a ton when I had to drive the 4 hours back to Cincinnati afterwards, but also because I was on crutches for a month and couldn’t start dancing until almost 2 months later. Add in insurance troubles and the total decimation of my audition season… you can see why I was in a bad place. Never let it be said, however, that I didn’t work my butt off in order to recover enough for Swan Lake. I went to therapy 3 times a week and continued to cross train as soon I was able to and was subsequently able to perform. It’s still hard though, as even now I am not fully recovered. I must continue to face down the brick wall between me and my goal that is my injury. I think that following this incident, I am beginning to fully comprehend just how difficult the path I walk is. With the joy that comes from living a fulfilling life, there is also despair that runs so much deeper when that ideal crumbles.
In other news, I am happy to report that I’ve found a great place to fulfill my 30 required Cincinnatus service hours. Every Thursday during the school year, I help to teach a recreational ballet class at a church in Northside. As opposed to last year when I just cobbled together whatever miscellaneous hours I could get my hands on, this sort of service plays directly to my strengths, or at least allows me to work at something most people wouldn’t be able to. It’s also grown my confidence as a teacher. While it still terrifies me if I’m asked to be a substitute dance teacher back at my home studio in Maryland, I’m not protesting that I can’t because I’m a sweaty mess. Even though it’s tough to feel the heavy weight of people’s expectations when I teach, I have also been able to acknowledge that that sort of responsibility is part of why the work is so rewarding in the first place: it allows you to help those who are depending on you. I can’t wait to continue this volunteer work next year as well.
Looking toward the coming year then, I my hope is that I will be able to move past the difficulties of this past year and be able to move past my fear of re-injury. What I believe is an important part of dance, after all, is fearlessness. I do not want to be constrained any further either mentally or physically by the roadblock that I have struggled to overcome. To give myself one piece of advice however – I would have to say “work even harder in the future,” specifically because I recognize now that it is imperative that I continue to move forward as a motivated and optimistic individual if I want to succeed.